Bobinsana (Mimosa) & Transmuting Collective Grief

As I laid in my bed attempting to drift into sleep, I couldn’t fight this feeling in the pit of my stomach - like the heaviest piece of cement anchoring my body down into the floorboard beneath me. I placed my hand over my heart, attempting to calm the familiar flutter of anxiety that seemed to be my new nightly companion these days. I’ve become accustomed to sleeping with one hand over my heart and one hand over my womb space - as a sort of grounding, protective motion.

But tonight felt different. The anxiety wouldn’t ease up…all the self-soothing techniques I tried would only calm my nerves for a moment - only for that fluttering feeling to arise again with greater potency. It felt a bit like trying to sleep on a high dose of psychedelic mushrooms. My mind was going 100 miles an hour with thoughts, visions, ideas, fears, musings…

I tried connecting with my roots - bringing my attention to the base of my spine and imagining a long line of energy connecting me with the roots of Mother Earth. But when I tried to sense for my root chakra, it felt as if it had been snipped off - it was completely gone. In its place was this vast, empty feeling that left an eerie sensation in my body. My sense of self felt like it was slipping around like gelatin in a container and even though I was breathing just fine, I had this sensation that I was dying.

Finally, I recognized this for what it was - I was having an ego fracture. I had felt this feeling a many times before, typically when on psychedelics. Rarely did it happen sober. I decided to investigate further - “what is this about? what is this teaching me?” I thought. I suddenly had this urge to connect with the energy of the Earth in a different way than my usual technique. Rather than focusing all of my energy on my root chakra, I placed my palms out in front of me and asked to connect with the spirit of the Earth itself.

Immediately I was shown children in Gaza crying, screaming, orphaned from their family in a storm of gray, smoky clouds. I saw a man running in the streets with his child’s disembodied parts in a bag - frantic, confused, traumatized. Looking in his eyes, I felt a wave of pure shock like a bolt of electricity run through my body. I gently held his face in my hands, blood and tears streaming from his eyes. “I’m so sorry” I whispered.

I knew in that moment there was nothing I could do to stop this from happening. Mother Earth wasn’t showing this to me for me to “fix it” or find some sort of solution. She was showing this to me so I could open my heart and find her resting there. As I looked into the eyes of each of the children that laid there heaving their last breaths, I asked the universe - “please, let their spirits finally find peace”. I began a mantra “may all beings free” - repeating this over and over, until I felt waves of peace and stillness begin to wash over me.

The scene began to shift. I now stood in a field of vibrant, fresh flowers. The sunshine beamed down on me and the wind blew softly through the grass. An elderly woman with long silver hair made her way to me. I had this feeling that she somehow was me - just an older, grandmotherly version. She looked me in the eyes in that soft, knowing way that grandmothers do and began to pick a bundle of flowers. Tears streamed down my face. “What will happen to the spirits of those children?” I asked her.

She gestured to the flowers - and I felt my energy body being pulled into the most beautiful mimosa flower. I danced through colors of pink, green, and vibrant yellow feeling the soft bristles brush gently against my skin. There was laugher and medicine all around me. “How humble these children are - they’ve given their lives as medicine”. As I looked down at her bundle of flowers, I began to understand the meaning of “sacred offering” in a whole new way.

We walked together, bundles of flowers in our arms, to a small cottage down the hill. Smoke poured from the chimney and there was warm food set out on a long wooden table. We decorated the table with the flowers, preparing a feast in honor of the lives lost.

Bobinsana (mimosa) is teaching me about how we must preserve our humanity, even in times of darkness and cruelty. Her colors are so joyful, bright, and life-giving. She brings us the energy of the sun and is used by the Shipibo-Conibo to heal various ailments, including Rheumatism, arthritis, colds, uterine disorders, edema (water retention). Curanderos and curanderas will sometimes use bobinsana as an adjunctive ingredient in Ayahuasca ceremonies. Her medicine uplifts our spirits, opens our hearts, and allows us to transmute grief into pure unconditional love.

BOBINSANA & BLUE  LOTUS TEA CEREMONY

(From Anima Mundi Herbals)

INGREDIENTS: 

1 tsp Bobinsana

1 tsp Blue Lotus 

2 tsp Rose Powder or rose petals

Optional add-ons for deep relaxation: Chamomile, Passionflower, Ashwagandha, or Lucid Dreaming Tea.

METHOD:

Place all ingredients in a strainer, or in a teapot. Pour in 1 cup of almost boiling water (about 170F). Allow the tea to steep for 4 minutes. Strain, and then add sweetener if desired. Enjoy before meditation, or in the evening before bed.